Bye Bye Baby

Charlotte is officially two. There is nothing terrible about her. She is our sweet, adorable little girl who when she toddles into the the room just shines. Her smile just makes me smile and boy does she have a great mischievous grin.

I have learned so much since Charlotte has been home with us. I remember when we decided to adopt from China, one of the key reasons was it would be a closed adoption. Almost all babies in China that are adopted are abandoned for a myriad of reasons, economic, cultural, political. During the 5 year wait for our referral, I have to say I put the birth mother in the way back of my mind. It was a lot about me and my feelings and my new baby. How I would react and how our new baby can attach and grow in our family and be happy.
Today, like many days,  all I can think about is her birth mother. It is funny to me how that has changed. I think about this day two years ago and what the circumstances of the day entailed. Where were they, what time of day. So many questions that I don't know if we will ever know the answers too. I am at a different place now that Charlotte is my daughter. I just want her to be happy. If that means searching for her birth mother when she is ready to make that decision, I will do whatever we have to do to make that happen. I don't know if this is the right or wrong decision. Time will  tell based on what Charlotte feels is right for her. We may never find her, but we will certainly use every tool available to us to try. I say that now with confidence that the love I have now for Charlotte is so maternal, that it is not scary to me. I hope with all my heart that should we find her birth mother, it is a meaningful and happy reunion for all of us. I don't really know how this would all happen right now, but for today, I hope and wish that her birth mother is aware how much Charlotte is loved and so thankful to her that she is here with us today.

Anyhoo, we had lunch at Cheesecake Factory today and Connor, yes, I said, Connor made his sister brownies for dessert tonight. Yum!! We will be having one more cake on Saturday with Peter's family. With the amount of birthday wishes she has recieved today, Charlotte would have more friends than me on Facebook. If she was allowed on FB, which she isn't until she is 30. 28 more years...

This is my desk calendar page today. How pefect!!